Wandering Wondering

Every day, except Wednesday, M wakes up at 6:00 am with the rest of the family. The little girl whimpers. She wishes to continue sleeping. Her mother heads for the kitchen and I can hear the clang of utensils. The M's mother steps into MY compound to go to THEIR garden to pluck flowers for her puja. The girl protests. Whines. The father yells. The mother yells. The grandmother placates. Then she too yells. So starts a new day for another average Indian family.

Soon the child will be driven to school. The wife will make breakfast. The grandmother will perform puja. The husband will get ready to go to work. Every day is the same. Except Wednesday. It's a holiday. For the father and the child. The wife has to go about starting the day. The grandmother ensures that she does. She wants her fist cup of tea. Perhaps she loves her daughter-in-law. Perhaps she is taking revenge on her own mother-in-law. How else do you explain why a woman who was a daughter-in-law mistreated in turn mistreats her own daugher-in-law? Or is it just possessiveness? How dare you take away what is mine -- my son?

I'm glad I don't live this way. I wake up early. Even before my neighbours wake up. But I don't have to. Maybe that's why I'm up bright and early. I could sleep for a few more minutes or hours. Who would care? Perhaps if I slept too late, the maid would get worried. Maybe the neighbours too: they are used to hearing me pray. I pray aloud because I like to hear the sound of the shlokas. The sound fills up the empty spaces and drives away the aloneness. Mind you, not loneliness. I don't feel lonely.  I do feel alone.

I know I am alone because I can eat breakfast when I want. Watch TV if I wish to. Listen to any music I prefer. I know I am alone, because no one really cares what I'm up to -- unless of course it effects their life in any way. To find out sometimes I play a game. I don't call. And my phone never rings. I often wonder how long it will be before people discover that I've been dead? Who cares? I won't be there!