Wandering Wondering

Every day, except Wednesday, M wakes up at 6:00 am with the rest of the family. The little girl whimpers. She wishes to continue sleeping. Her mother heads for the kitchen and I can hear the clang of utensils. The M's mother steps into MY compound to go to THEIR garden to pluck flowers for her puja. The girl protests. Whines. The father yells. The mother yells. The grandmother placates. Then she too yells. So starts a new day for another average Indian family.

Soon the child will be driven to school. The wife will make breakfast. The grandmother will perform puja. The husband will get ready to go to work. Every day is the same. Except Wednesday. It's a holiday. For the father and the child. The wife has to go about starting the day. The grandmother ensures that she does. She wants her fist cup of tea. Perhaps she loves her daughter-in-law. Perhaps she is taking revenge on her own mother-in-law. How else do you explain why a woman who was a daughter-in-law mistreated in turn mistreats her own daugher-in-law? Or is it just possessiveness? How dare you take away what is mine -- my son?

I'm glad I don't live this way. I wake up early. Even before my neighbours wake up. But I don't have to. Maybe that's why I'm up bright and early. I could sleep for a few more minutes or hours. Who would care? Perhaps if I slept too late, the maid would get worried. Maybe the neighbours too: they are used to hearing me pray. I pray aloud because I like to hear the sound of the shlokas. The sound fills up the empty spaces and drives away the aloneness. Mind you, not loneliness. I don't feel lonely.  I do feel alone.

I know I am alone because I can eat breakfast when I want. Watch TV if I wish to. Listen to any music I prefer. I know I am alone, because no one really cares what I'm up to -- unless of course it effects their life in any way. To find out sometimes I play a game. I don't call. And my phone never rings. I often wonder how long it will be before people discover that I've been dead? Who cares? I won't be there!

Monday Morning Colours

It's a quarter past eight in the morning. It already seems I've been awake for ages! But yes, I've been up for a while. I've been to the toilet, had a shower, done my pranayam and asans, listened to a morning raag by Pandid Jasraj and I've been at my workdesk for the past 30 minutes. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that I spent a while reading the papers, had breakfast too!

Most people are probably getting ready to go to work now. They'll spend anything between 30 to 60 minutes and perhaps even more commuting to work. Thank God, I'm spared all that. If time hangs heavy on my hands, I can always go to the project or to Kolkata. Though, I must admit, in this weather, I don't feel like going anywhere -- not even to the market to buy provisions. The mornings are scorching and humid, the evenings are hot and humid. It has started raining now and then. But these are brief showers that act more like water sprinkled on hot stones in a sauna. And humidity is something I just can't stand. I'm about to go crazy despite yoga and meditation!

The mosquitos here are a menace! They are killing me slowly by sucking up all my blood! I may be saving money by not smoking. But I am certainly spending an equivalent amount on mosquito repellents that don't seem to work!A friend advised me to keep changing the brand of repellent as the mosquitos get acclamatized to a brand very quickly! Unbelievable? Come to Bolpur and I will show you that he's possibly correct!

The worst part is that I don't feel inspired to do anything. I don't feel like going out at all. And even indoors, all I feel like doing is sleep, sleep, sleep just to get away from this heat. Can I really continue to live in Bolpur? Was I not better off in Roldih or Kolkata. Yes, travelling to and fro was very tiring. Bolpur seemed like a good option. Also, it seemed an ideal place to start some new work. But now I'm not so sure. Computer Courses and Spoken English classes have sprung up all over the place overnight!

Anyway, it's 8:30 am now, though for me it seems like afternoon already! Time to watch  TV and catch up with all the latest news..... more scams and killings and the stupid antics of our politicians who make issues out of non issues and sweep the real issues under the carpet.

Those Whispers

Those whispers
Sometimes they caress my hair
Grey and thinning
Once proud and black

Those whispers
Warm breath upon my chest
Turn to drops of sweat
And crawl down my skin

Those whispers
The clanging in my ears
Mostly lost in monotony
At times deafening

Those whispers
Once slipped past parted petals
And pearls in rows
Now lost as if unuttered

iGoogle knows Bolpur Exists!

I'm quite excited that Bolpur, West Bengal figures on the weather map on iGoogle. Shanti Niketan does not! So all those intellectual snobs who live there can turn green with envy if they like. I only discovered day before yesterday that those who live in Shanti Niketan tend to look down upon those who live in Bolpur even though it's hard to distinguish where Bolpur ends and Shanti Niketan begins. Those living in S. Niketan are supposed to be "educated" and "cultured" people. In other words Bhodroloks. Where as those who live in Bolpur are supposed to be "banias" (small business owners, shop owners, etc).So, if one is educated and cultured, how does one become so snobbish? Aren't educated and cultured people supposed to be more egalitarian, tolerant, kind, etc?

The swing --  a present from Dani and Tak

It rained quite a bit this afternoon. But not continuously, unfortunately. It rains and then the sun shines and it rains all over again. Unfortunately, this increases the humidity and makes it uncomfortable. For some odd reason, the mosquitos seem to proliferate and become quite aggressive. Mosquito repellents don't work... nothing works.


Archie, a friend who is also a professor at Vishwa Bharati Universtity, said he may come around this evening. I am waiting for him. If the rain does not discourage him, we will go out to a "dhaba" (road-side cafe) to have chicken and roti this evening! My mouth is watering even though I don't like chicken very much. Rain, rain, go away.... come again some other day....

Private Tuition for Pre-school Children!

My neighbour's daughter is 4 years old. A friendly little girl. Very chirpy. But I hear her crying every morning and evening. She starts crying at 5:30 a.m because she has been woken up to go to pre-school by 6:00. She gets home around noon. Her mother and grandmother would like her to come to my place and spend time with me, so that she's out of the way. But since I've very subtly made it known that I'm busy during the day, she no longer comes across. In the evening again at 5:00 pm I hear her whining because she doesn't want to go to the tutor's place. She comes back from the tutor at 7:30. Maybe she gets to play, maybe she doesn't.

Her cousin, who is all of 7 has roughly the same routine. I haven't heard her crying or whining. But that's probably because she doesn't live on the ground floor next to me. But she too, hardly gets any time to play. She has a private tutor coming home to teach her. And because the parents know I don't quite approve of small children getting tuition, I was told that her tutor is a student who needs the money and comes home to play with the child. The lessons did not sound like child play.

It really makes me sad to see that parents need to engage tutors for children who are in pre-school or are in the primary schooling stage! When we were young, we were allowed to go out and kick the ball or fall off trees or bicycles but we were asked to come home by nightfall, wash up and finish our homework. That is all the studying we did outside school. I don't think we've done very badly in life? I wonder how many tutors Dhirubhai Ambani had?

I never had a tutor when I was young. I recall that I used to go across to a neibour "uncle" if I had a maths problem that I could not understand. My daughter never had a tutor except in her final year of school, when she used to go thrice a week to a math's tutor because she was weak in maths.

So what's happening? Are the schools not teaching? I remember that our "classwork" and "homework" taught us all that we know today. Tutors were for "duffers" -- thick-headed people with little brains. But now, it's only a rare child who does not take "private tuition"! Where's the need to go to school then?

I spoke to a friend who's a school teacher and she said that parents are terrified that their children won't get good grades. Without "good marks" they won't be able to get into "good colleges". Also, she said that in many schools the teachers deliberately "fail" children in class exams so that their pupils are forced to seek "private tuiton" from the same teacher who teaches them in school. The whole system is corrupt these days -- including teachers. This worries me. It scares me. A nation without good teachers is bound to perish and be enslaved. It amazes me that my generation has been so corrupt. What kind of legacy are we leaving behind?

Also what bothers me is lopsided education. Those who can afford it, send their children to "private schools" (wonder why they are called public schools) and then get them tutors so that their children do well. On the other hand, the poor or working class people who can't afford to send their kids to government schools where the teaching is sub-standard. And they certainly can't afford private tutors. So what happens? The gap between the haves and havenots is widening rather rapidly and this does not auger well for the country.

This is why I like Mitali's effort at creating a balance. She was teaching a couple of "rich kids" in the evening and was very frustrated by the attitude of the parents who "bought" education. So she decided to stop that and has started tutoring slum children in her home. She has four kids and expecting more. I wish more people would follow her example.

Destiny's Lost Design

I thought it would come to me
Destiny's Design
A blueprint
Droped from heaven
Like a spiraling paper plane
But at three scores and ten
I've waited in vain
And now even the green grass
Of my myriad dreams
Have turned to straw
I keep staring skywards
Waiting for raindrops
To wash them away
In rivulets of rain
Along with my accumulated pain

Fair & Lovely Ki Jai, Vivel Ki Jai, Fairness Cream Ki Jai

While I wouldn't go so far as to suggest that "fairness" creams should be banned. I would certainly like to see all advertisements that promote "fairness" be banned. Some of these ads are so insulting! I often wonder, how the women, in a country where the majority are dark-skinned, tolerate such insults that suggest that to be desireable and successful, you need to be fair. And what's more disgusting is that now there are ads for "fairness" creams for men! And there are "men" (really?) who go out and buy them! Jesus H. Christ!!!!!

I sometimes wonder why Indians are so colour conscious. Is it becasue of our colonial past? Or is our history? It's true that through milleniums the country has been over-run by fair-skinned people -- the Aryans, the Arabs and then the Europeans. So maybe subconsciously "superiority" has come to be associated with "fairness".

This is really sad as the majority of Indians are dark and devastatingly beautiful. Ask any enlightened westerner and they'll tell you so. And I make this suggestion quite deliberately. As Indians we seem to accept what "firangis" have to say rather than use our own intelligence!

Where would Ravi Shankar, the musician  (or Indian classical music) be had it not been for George Harrison? And where would Ravi Shankar, the AOL Guru be (or yoga and meditation) had it not been for the fact that the Beatles discovered Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and Transcendental Meditation?

So, my dear Great White Friends, if you are reading this blog, please go out of your way to tell us Indians how wonderful we look even though we are not "fair" -- skin colour as well as dealing with others! It's the only way we can fight the onslaught of "fairness" cream ad invasions that will convince us Indians, except the Punjabis and Kashmiris (I'm only refering to only those who think they are Indian) that we need to invest more in "fairness creams" and not education to succeed in life.